Hello?? Is this thing on?? Mic check... mic check...
Now that you are listening, let me ask you a question. How are things in your life right now? How is your walk with God? How has He chosen to answer your deepest prayers or your strongest hopes and dreams?
It's always said that God works in mysterious ways. I know that isn't a new thought, but let me ask this: Why is it that we consider His ways "mysterious"? We often say that it is because "God's ways are not our own..." or because "He works all things for His good...". While these things are certainly true, I think the reality is that we label God's actions and directions as mysterious because they don't line up with how we would have handled any number of situations. The word "mysterious" is our politically correct replacement for "illogical", "undeserved" or "confusing". Insert any number of words in its place.
"Mysterious" is what we say when we are in public, while "wow, God... that really hacks me off" is what we say in private. Come on, you know it's true.
I've been thinking through some situations lately that have, for lack of a better term, really caused me some hurt. Things that I really didn't expect to go any other way, but yet they grind at the very core of my mindset.
At least one of the situations involves an individual that I believe would sell his own heart if it meant stepping up in the world in stature. The funny thing is... it appears that it is paying off for this individual. Wow, God... Your answers sure are mysterious!
A couple other situations relate to dear friends who are suffering or have suffered far more than one would ever think they deserve. Wow, God... Your ways certainly are not our own. Wow, God... You sure works all things for Your good.
Yet some others relate to how I expected God to answer some long held prayers, when in reality His answers came back so far from my expectations that I'm still recovering from whiplash. Wow, God... Your ways certainly are not our own.
For those who might think my comments are sarcastic toward God, I assure you they are nothing of the sort. Consider them public reminders to myself and please... continue reading.
I'll be honest, I'm a person who really would rather carry his own emotional burdens and stuff it all inside, but the more I do this, the more my compassion and contentment are replaced with bitterness and frustration. I've had to make a conscience effort to pray for my own attitude and for the very people and situations involved in the things that frustrate me so... though I struggle not to do so with gritted teeth.
Working through all of the thought processes associated with a personality such as mine, reminded me tonight of the book of Habakkuk. If you know the story at all, Habakkuk essentially called out to God with his frustrations about the injustice and inadequacies of the world around him. He expected the Lord to act differently. He expected the Lord to respond with the same action and in the same time frame as he, himself, would have.
God responded to Habakkuk with a reminder of who holds the power of all. He reminded Habakkuk who holds the ultimate authority. He reminded Habakkuk to not put too much merit in the way things appear, but to put faith in a God of response, who executes His plan with perfect precision.
Habakkuk closes with a prayer to God, rejoicing in who He is... rather than what He hasn't done (in accordance to what we believe His will should be). I'm not sure if Habakkuk's prayer is really one of a convinced man or is more one along the lines of "I know in my heart that this is true, so God please help me to act accordingly when my faith is weak".
Regardless of intent, there is one line that stuck out to me tonight. It reads as follows:
Habakkuk 3:18 (NIV)
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
I love the fact that it begins with "yet". Though the verse prior uses poetic illustrations of "bad things", this is Habakkuk's way of saying "Lord... These things really stink... *yet* I will rejoice..."
I'm not sure what you are struggling with in your own life right now, but for me... this was a good reminder that I am not God... That complaining about the imperfections of others is no excuse for pretending I don't hold many of the same flaws. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.
I need to work toward my "yet" prayer.
Lord, I am broken in more ways than I can count.
I expect You to act in whatever ways I see fit, paying more attention to my own idea of a perfect plan than I do Your perfect will... and I ask Your forgiveness for this.
Lord, let me rejoice in Your works and your ways, even if they truly are mysterious to me.
Let me be a part of whatever it is that You desire and let me not hold bitterness towards others that are a part of what *I* desire.
Let me love others in spite of their flaws, just as You do with me.
Restore my content and compassionate spirit and allow me to live for You instead of for me.
And all God's people said... Amen.
In Him,
Jim
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Thank You, Mr. Key...
Monday afternoon, I received an email from my good friend Jason. The message was short and sweet. It read, "Dana Key died yesterday :(." There was that short moment of disbelief as I typed his name into Google... just to find that it was indeed true. Dana Key of Memphis, Tennessee died Sunday night at the age of 56.
Maybe Dana's name isn't one that rings a bell with most people, but let me tell you that he played an instrumental part in my life.
Dana Key was the singer and guitarist for the band DeGarmo and Key.
I first saw DeGarmo and Key at a show in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I was just barely a teenager. I didn't think I was going there to spend time with God... I actually went there to spend time with a girl (who is now my wife!)... but God apparently wanted to spend some time with me.
Through Mr. Key's words and amazing musicianship, God showed me that He was far more than I had ever learned about in the circles of my childhood. I left that evening a changed man.
I had the pleasure of writing Dana a year or so back to share with him all that I experienced that night. I guess in hindsight now, I'm glad I was able to do so.
Thank you, Mr. Key for allowing the Father to speak through you to some messed up little boy those many years ago.
In Him,
Jim
Maybe Dana's name isn't one that rings a bell with most people, but let me tell you that he played an instrumental part in my life.
Dana Key was the singer and guitarist for the band DeGarmo and Key.
I first saw DeGarmo and Key at a show in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I was just barely a teenager. I didn't think I was going there to spend time with God... I actually went there to spend time with a girl (who is now my wife!)... but God apparently wanted to spend some time with me.
Through Mr. Key's words and amazing musicianship, God showed me that He was far more than I had ever learned about in the circles of my childhood. I left that evening a changed man.
I had the pleasure of writing Dana a year or so back to share with him all that I experienced that night. I guess in hindsight now, I'm glad I was able to do so.
Thank you, Mr. Key for allowing the Father to speak through you to some messed up little boy those many years ago.
In Him,
Jim
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Cat Got Your Tongue?
OK... so I guess this past year has been one of the bigger absences from my little corner of the blogosphere that I've ever had. I was just reading some of my more recent posts and realized that just a few posts back I talk about the birth of my youngest son... who is now over a year old. So what gives?
There are all the typical excuses: Life got too busy, not enough time, blogging is going out of style (not that I've EVER been known as stylish), life has had some difficult changes over the past year, I've got nothing to say (I'm sure most who know me wish that this would be the case)... but the truth is, it just slipped my mind. It dropped on the massive scale of my priorities.
While I don't think it's a bad thing to re-evaluate priorities and while I certainly don't think that blogging about my life to a handful of those who are interested is necessarily a "high" priority as it relates to other things happening, there are a couple things that disturb me about my silence. First, it shows me how easily I tend to stray from something and second, it shows how easily I forget to reflect upon what God is doing in my family's lives.
It has been an amazing and difficult year. Countless things have occurred that have run the gamut of excruciating to amazing... some even could be classified as both. God has done things that I never thought possible. He's presented heroes in the most unlikely forms. He's pushed open doors that I never knew existed. He's shaken ground that I thought was hearty and strong. He's allowed challenges that have torn at the very core of who I am as a person... yet, He's also shown me that above all else, He is faithful to His children... even when I've set Him aside like the blog posts of yesteryear.
I don't want to be silent. I want my voice, heart and mind to remain focused on the God who has shown Himself to be anything by silent over the past year. I want to be willing to share the wonder of how He's been working in my family... not just so that others can be encouraged, but so that I too can continue to reflect upon the one who is not silent... rather than letting it slip away.
Why is it that we are most silent when God is working the most in our lives? Interesting...
All of this to say, that I hope to be more active in sharing again. I have no idea what that will look like, but will say that I hope it looks like Him.
In Him,
Jim
There are all the typical excuses: Life got too busy, not enough time, blogging is going out of style (not that I've EVER been known as stylish), life has had some difficult changes over the past year, I've got nothing to say (I'm sure most who know me wish that this would be the case)... but the truth is, it just slipped my mind. It dropped on the massive scale of my priorities.
While I don't think it's a bad thing to re-evaluate priorities and while I certainly don't think that blogging about my life to a handful of those who are interested is necessarily a "high" priority as it relates to other things happening, there are a couple things that disturb me about my silence. First, it shows me how easily I tend to stray from something and second, it shows how easily I forget to reflect upon what God is doing in my family's lives.
It has been an amazing and difficult year. Countless things have occurred that have run the gamut of excruciating to amazing... some even could be classified as both. God has done things that I never thought possible. He's presented heroes in the most unlikely forms. He's pushed open doors that I never knew existed. He's shaken ground that I thought was hearty and strong. He's allowed challenges that have torn at the very core of who I am as a person... yet, He's also shown me that above all else, He is faithful to His children... even when I've set Him aside like the blog posts of yesteryear.
I don't want to be silent. I want my voice, heart and mind to remain focused on the God who has shown Himself to be anything by silent over the past year. I want to be willing to share the wonder of how He's been working in my family... not just so that others can be encouraged, but so that I too can continue to reflect upon the one who is not silent... rather than letting it slip away.
Why is it that we are most silent when God is working the most in our lives? Interesting...
All of this to say, that I hope to be more active in sharing again. I have no idea what that will look like, but will say that I hope it looks like Him.
In Him,
Jim
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Life Through Song
My wife and I have been dealing with a lot lately. We both feel overly stressed by a number of things in life. Not always big things... but sometimes just lots of little nagging or troublesome issues.
As we've spent the last few weeks talking through things, we've both made comments about songs that God has seemingly used to remind us of His truths, His love for us and our need to trust in Him.
As someone drawn to music, it is no secret that songs have played a large part in my life.
Now don't get me wrong, songs are not a replacement for prayer, Bible reading, counsel of wise friends, etc.. but yet I truly believe that some songs have a way of both preparing our hearts to be instructed and doing the instruction at the same time.
I'd like to hear from you (all 3 people who read my rantings!) as to which songs God has used to speak into your lives recently. What is it about the song that draws you to it? What truths are you being reminded of when you listen?
Just curious...
In Him,
Jim
As we've spent the last few weeks talking through things, we've both made comments about songs that God has seemingly used to remind us of His truths, His love for us and our need to trust in Him.
As someone drawn to music, it is no secret that songs have played a large part in my life.
Now don't get me wrong, songs are not a replacement for prayer, Bible reading, counsel of wise friends, etc.. but yet I truly believe that some songs have a way of both preparing our hearts to be instructed and doing the instruction at the same time.
I'd like to hear from you (all 3 people who read my rantings!) as to which songs God has used to speak into your lives recently. What is it about the song that draws you to it? What truths are you being reminded of when you listen?
Just curious...
In Him,
Jim
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Depth Of Heart
I've been struggling a bit lately. I'll be honest. My life "isn't as it should be" by my standards (and I'm sure God's as well). There are always too many projects and too few hours. Too many priorities get shoved aside for too many emergencies. Life is chaotic.
I was driving home tonight from a rehearsal contemplating all the things about my character that would disappoint God. Basically, blaming myself for not achieving better results in my walk with God. Trying to finagle my mind into reworking my emergencies into well compartmentalized and strategized timely tasks, so that I could THEN give God the time and effort He deserves.
Funny, isn't it? Trying to "be all that I can be" so that God would love me more or listen to my cries and prayers more closely?
In my time of reflection, a song came on the radio that I had never heard before. It is called "I'm Singing" and is by an artist name Kari Jobe.
Allow me to quote a portion of the song:
When I heard this song, my first reaction was to switch the station because it is somewhat repetitive and not lyrically very deep. You see, as a worship leader there is this constant ebb and flow about songs being too shallow and not meaty enough contrasted with songs being so deep that they are beyond common understanding.
I get caught up in one end or the other and sometimes fail to grasp the only thing that really matters... can I/am I giving God His due respect and worship with the song, regardless of depth of content?
Kari's song was simple, but the more it played (it really is a great song, in spite of my initial response) the more I realized that there was extreme depth of heart in the simplicity of the lyrics.
When I'm worshiping God in song, I'm not singing to a figment of my imagination, I'm presenting praise before the King of all of the heavens and all of the earth. I'm singing to the God to whom the very rocks will cry out if we do not give Him praise.
Tonight, in my time of disgust with who I am as a person, God reminded me through a simple song that He's not after my achievements. He's not after the deepest theological song I can find. He's not after the finest crafted words I can compose.
He's after a depth of heart. He's after a man that is willing to praise Him in simplicity as well as complexity. He's after whatever it is I have to offer Him right now... big or small.
The bottom line is, I need to be before God where I am now. Not once I have things figured out and back in order... but right now. I need to be "singing" to my God.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you've been distant from God as you've been trying to "right your life" in one form or another. As Kari sings in her song...
I for one am ready to stop hearing from me and start hearing the only one... from God.
In Him,
Jim
I was driving home tonight from a rehearsal contemplating all the things about my character that would disappoint God. Basically, blaming myself for not achieving better results in my walk with God. Trying to finagle my mind into reworking my emergencies into well compartmentalized and strategized timely tasks, so that I could THEN give God the time and effort He deserves.
Funny, isn't it? Trying to "be all that I can be" so that God would love me more or listen to my cries and prayers more closely?
In my time of reflection, a song came on the radio that I had never heard before. It is called "I'm Singing" and is by an artist name Kari Jobe.
Allow me to quote a portion of the song:
And I'm singing to the God
Who brings redemption to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise
And I'm singing to the God
Who wrote the book on our salvation
To the One who covers me in grace
I'm Singing
Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth will prevail
Only one love brings you freedom
Only one Man took the nails
When I heard this song, my first reaction was to switch the station because it is somewhat repetitive and not lyrically very deep. You see, as a worship leader there is this constant ebb and flow about songs being too shallow and not meaty enough contrasted with songs being so deep that they are beyond common understanding.
I get caught up in one end or the other and sometimes fail to grasp the only thing that really matters... can I/am I giving God His due respect and worship with the song, regardless of depth of content?
Kari's song was simple, but the more it played (it really is a great song, in spite of my initial response) the more I realized that there was extreme depth of heart in the simplicity of the lyrics.
I'm singing to the God that brings redemption to the nations
When I'm worshiping God in song, I'm not singing to a figment of my imagination, I'm presenting praise before the King of all of the heavens and all of the earth. I'm singing to the God to whom the very rocks will cry out if we do not give Him praise.
Tonight, in my time of disgust with who I am as a person, God reminded me through a simple song that He's not after my achievements. He's not after the deepest theological song I can find. He's not after the finest crafted words I can compose.
He's after a depth of heart. He's after a man that is willing to praise Him in simplicity as well as complexity. He's after whatever it is I have to offer Him right now... big or small.
The bottom line is, I need to be before God where I am now. Not once I have things figured out and back in order... but right now. I need to be "singing" to my God.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you've been distant from God as you've been trying to "right your life" in one form or another. As Kari sings in her song...
Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth will prevail
Only one love brings you freedom
Only one Man took the nails
I for one am ready to stop hearing from me and start hearing the only one... from God.
In Him,
Jim
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up!!
This morning while I was taking my shower (that seems to be where most of my deep thoughts occur), I was praying for my wife and my newborn child and the doctor appointments they both were to have today. Without going into detail, both are dealing with issues (related to the recent birth) that are concerning at best and very serious at worst.
So, there I was praying in the shower when a song popped into my head. I had just been listening to the song yesterday because I was watching part of a concert video from a gentleman by the name of Brad Stiles, for whom I play guitar. Let me be clear for a second... Brad didn't write the song, so it is not him I'm talking about, ok?
The title of the song I watched is "Healer". Many of you may be familiar with the song, because it was a VERY popular release last year... followed by a widely talked about "scandal".
It seems that the author of the song was promoting it at various events as having been written during a time of struggling with a disease. The song was written as an expression of praise for being delivered through and healed from the disease he claimed to be taking its toll on his body.
Long story short, it turned out that he had essentially made up the story of the disease. Many claimed it nothing more than a gimmick.
The backlash from this was heavy, as one can imagine. Radio stations banned the song. Christians and non-Christians alike expressed disappointment in the character of the author and spouted rhetoric about how godly or ungodly this man must be.
So... here I am in the shower with this song of hope... song of healing... desire to let God be in control of my family's situation being reminded to me in song. A song with so much baggage associated with it.
As I continued to dwell on my prayers and on this song, I recalled sitting with Brad backstage before one of our shows and talking about the purpose of the song. I remembered talking about how God uses the unfit and how even though this man didn't have the disease he claimed, he was/is still definitely in need of God's healing. I remembered talking about how God's purpose is greater than man's and how God tends to use the least of us for the greatest of things... even when we are unworthy.
My thoughts then drifted to Matthew 18. Not particularly controversial, many believers use this as our guide for dealing with sin issues with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I have heard countless times about the "steps" involved with dealing with such an incident... ending (in extreme and irreconcilable situations) with the stopping of fellowship with the other individual.
I started to think that perhaps as Christians, we often miss the greater point. I started to think about how (according to something like Matthew 18) people turned away from the song "Healer" and its author because they saw him as unfit and didn't want this scandal to corrupt their worship. But I couldn't convince myself that this was good or proper application. Let's face it... we are all sinners. Yes, even you reading this right now... certainly me.
You see, I don't think the concept of Matthew 18 was meant to protect you and me from the sins of others... like some people assume. If I look at the chapter in whole, I see God's desire for us to receive Him. I see God's desire for us to be servants of others instead of ourselves. I see God's concern for the individual who has gone astray. I see God's desire for sin to be RECONCILED so that fellowship can be restored... NOT so that we can be protected from those that sin. That would be impossible for us to do.
I'll tell you what Christians need to be protected from: We need to be protected from the idea that having it all together is what God requires. We need to be protected from "playing Christian". We need to be protected from the fear of the judgment involved with hanging our dirty laundry out where others can see it.
I'm not excusing the sins of others nor am I excusing my own. I'm not suggesting that we don't follow Matthew 18.
I'm suggesting that we follow it with the heart of wanting to restore a fellow believer in fellowship to God... not because of how it impacts us.
I'm suggesting that we rejoice in the fact that God can still use a song like "Healer" to reach those with the truth of God's grace and mercy... even when the person delivering it has stumbled.
I'm suggesting that we be thankful to our great and merciful God for using us in spite of our lacking and healing us in spite of what we deserve.
"I believe You're my healer. I believe You're more than enough for me."
Thank you God for loving me... not because of my sins, but in spite of them.
In Him,
Jim
So, there I was praying in the shower when a song popped into my head. I had just been listening to the song yesterday because I was watching part of a concert video from a gentleman by the name of Brad Stiles, for whom I play guitar. Let me be clear for a second... Brad didn't write the song, so it is not him I'm talking about, ok?
The title of the song I watched is "Healer". Many of you may be familiar with the song, because it was a VERY popular release last year... followed by a widely talked about "scandal".
It seems that the author of the song was promoting it at various events as having been written during a time of struggling with a disease. The song was written as an expression of praise for being delivered through and healed from the disease he claimed to be taking its toll on his body.
Long story short, it turned out that he had essentially made up the story of the disease. Many claimed it nothing more than a gimmick.
The backlash from this was heavy, as one can imagine. Radio stations banned the song. Christians and non-Christians alike expressed disappointment in the character of the author and spouted rhetoric about how godly or ungodly this man must be.
So... here I am in the shower with this song of hope... song of healing... desire to let God be in control of my family's situation being reminded to me in song. A song with so much baggage associated with it.
As I continued to dwell on my prayers and on this song, I recalled sitting with Brad backstage before one of our shows and talking about the purpose of the song. I remembered talking about how God uses the unfit and how even though this man didn't have the disease he claimed, he was/is still definitely in need of God's healing. I remembered talking about how God's purpose is greater than man's and how God tends to use the least of us for the greatest of things... even when we are unworthy.
My thoughts then drifted to Matthew 18. Not particularly controversial, many believers use this as our guide for dealing with sin issues with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I have heard countless times about the "steps" involved with dealing with such an incident... ending (in extreme and irreconcilable situations) with the stopping of fellowship with the other individual.
I started to think that perhaps as Christians, we often miss the greater point. I started to think about how (according to something like Matthew 18) people turned away from the song "Healer" and its author because they saw him as unfit and didn't want this scandal to corrupt their worship. But I couldn't convince myself that this was good or proper application. Let's face it... we are all sinners. Yes, even you reading this right now... certainly me.
You see, I don't think the concept of Matthew 18 was meant to protect you and me from the sins of others... like some people assume. If I look at the chapter in whole, I see God's desire for us to receive Him. I see God's desire for us to be servants of others instead of ourselves. I see God's concern for the individual who has gone astray. I see God's desire for sin to be RECONCILED so that fellowship can be restored... NOT so that we can be protected from those that sin. That would be impossible for us to do.
I'll tell you what Christians need to be protected from: We need to be protected from the idea that having it all together is what God requires. We need to be protected from "playing Christian". We need to be protected from the fear of the judgment involved with hanging our dirty laundry out where others can see it.
I'm not excusing the sins of others nor am I excusing my own. I'm not suggesting that we don't follow Matthew 18.
I'm suggesting that we follow it with the heart of wanting to restore a fellow believer in fellowship to God... not because of how it impacts us.
I'm suggesting that we rejoice in the fact that God can still use a song like "Healer" to reach those with the truth of God's grace and mercy... even when the person delivering it has stumbled.
I'm suggesting that we be thankful to our great and merciful God for using us in spite of our lacking and healing us in spite of what we deserve.
"I believe You're my healer. I believe You're more than enough for me."
Thank you God for loving me... not because of my sins, but in spite of them.
In Him,
Jim
Monday, January 12, 2009
Something To Say
Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you have something to say... but you aren't quite sure what it is? Like there is a purpose bottled up inside of you that you aren't quite sure how to draw out?
I know... it is a strange question, but it is one that has been on my mind today for some reason.
I sat here this evening doing some work at my desk while listening through old songs that I have written, co-written, produced or played on. Lots of interesting stuff. In doing so, I noticed one recurring theme: I have trouble expressing myself through song. What I mean is that I have started many songs over the years (some of them I actually like), but very few have ever been finished.
My friend Dan and I used to co-write weekly. I was teaching guitar at the time and he worked with me at the music store. Between students, we could often be found working through some new song ideas. I won't say that they were all good, but we were very prolific.
Since Dan and I stopped writing together (this has more to do with stages of life and living in different cities than anything else), I haven't been anywhere near as thorough with my music.
I've had people tell me that I'm a gifted writer and performer, but truthfully I don't believe it. It makes it hard to finish songs when you are your worst critic.
Two of my friends who are accomplished professional songwriters have told me that part of the battle is just making sure you get the song out of you... be it good or bad. Seems if I think a song is bad, I'll just abandon it on the spot... hahaha
Anyhow, listening to the songs tonight made me realize how much I enjoy how music works. I enjoy the way that different sounds and instruments interact. I enjoy the act of getting the recorded.
What frustrates me is that I feel like there are things I'm supposed to say in music... not because I have to, but because God has created me a certain way. The problem is that I haven't figured out what it is I'm supposed to say... at least never more than a verse or two.
For fun, I'm going to post a few songs that I've worked on through the years. I'd love to know what you all think.
First up is a song that Dan and I wrote together (he wrote the words and I wrote the music). It was recorded at my old house in a little office (with the exception of drums, which we recorded one afternoon at the music store). Dan played the triangle, tambourine and did the vocals on the bridge. I did the vocals, guitars, bass and drums. The song is a good 10+ years old, so its fun to listen to.
The next one is the title track off of my band's CD (Just William: Blue Goodbye). This song is pretty much the same arrangement as the last one: I did the music and Dan did the words. I did the guitars and lead vocals. Evan Marshall did the background vocals and bass. Dan Van Oss did the keyboards and Skip Lowe played the drums. This too was recorded at my old house (and my parent's basement!)
Ok... so those were my more prolific days co-writing with friends... now here are a few partially written songs from here at the house. All instruments and vocals (when there are some) are played and recorded by me. Be warned: None of them are complete and most of them don't have lyrics yet... hahaha. Also, not much effort was put into making these sound "professional"... they are just rough takes that I wanted to let you all listen to.
Well there you have it... a look into my incomplete, torturous mental state of songwriting. Some day (sooner than later) I hope to finish a few of these and put out a CD with some of these songs on them... but that's assuming I ever figure out what it is I'm trying to say!
Thanks for listening...
In Him,
Jim
I know... it is a strange question, but it is one that has been on my mind today for some reason.
I sat here this evening doing some work at my desk while listening through old songs that I have written, co-written, produced or played on. Lots of interesting stuff. In doing so, I noticed one recurring theme: I have trouble expressing myself through song. What I mean is that I have started many songs over the years (some of them I actually like), but very few have ever been finished.
My friend Dan and I used to co-write weekly. I was teaching guitar at the time and he worked with me at the music store. Between students, we could often be found working through some new song ideas. I won't say that they were all good, but we were very prolific.
Since Dan and I stopped writing together (this has more to do with stages of life and living in different cities than anything else), I haven't been anywhere near as thorough with my music.
I've had people tell me that I'm a gifted writer and performer, but truthfully I don't believe it. It makes it hard to finish songs when you are your worst critic.
Two of my friends who are accomplished professional songwriters have told me that part of the battle is just making sure you get the song out of you... be it good or bad. Seems if I think a song is bad, I'll just abandon it on the spot... hahaha
Anyhow, listening to the songs tonight made me realize how much I enjoy how music works. I enjoy the way that different sounds and instruments interact. I enjoy the act of getting the recorded.
What frustrates me is that I feel like there are things I'm supposed to say in music... not because I have to, but because God has created me a certain way. The problem is that I haven't figured out what it is I'm supposed to say... at least never more than a verse or two.
For fun, I'm going to post a few songs that I've worked on through the years. I'd love to know what you all think.
First up is a song that Dan and I wrote together (he wrote the words and I wrote the music). It was recorded at my old house in a little office (with the exception of drums, which we recorded one afternoon at the music store). Dan played the triangle, tambourine and did the vocals on the bridge. I did the vocals, guitars, bass and drums. The song is a good 10+ years old, so its fun to listen to.
10,000 Spins
The next one is the title track off of my band's CD (Just William: Blue Goodbye). This song is pretty much the same arrangement as the last one: I did the music and Dan did the words. I did the guitars and lead vocals. Evan Marshall did the background vocals and bass. Dan Van Oss did the keyboards and Skip Lowe played the drums. This too was recorded at my old house (and my parent's basement!)
Blue Goodbye
Ok... so those were my more prolific days co-writing with friends... now here are a few partially written songs from here at the house. All instruments and vocals (when there are some) are played and recorded by me. Be warned: None of them are complete and most of them don't have lyrics yet... hahaha. Also, not much effort was put into making these sound "professional"... they are just rough takes that I wanted to let you all listen to.
Song Idea 1
Song Idea 2
Song Idea 3
Well there you have it... a look into my incomplete, torturous mental state of songwriting. Some day (sooner than later) I hope to finish a few of these and put out a CD with some of these songs on them... but that's assuming I ever figure out what it is I'm trying to say!
Thanks for listening...
In Him,
Jim
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