When I Grow Up...

Wow... so it has really been over a month since I last wrote something here, eh? Sorry about that. I know my millions of readers are just sitting on the edge of their seat waiting to see what witty, deep and/or insightful river of intellect will spew from my mouth next. (Did that sound sarcastic enough? *grin*)

Truth be told, I have been insanely busy with work projects lately. The company that I work for (Laridian) has been working on some awesome new products and all of us at work have been swept up in the necessities surrounding the release of new products.

I just got home tonight (1:29 AM) from letting a musical friend of mine into my parent's house for the weekend. He's been out on the road and drove in from another state tonight to play at church tomorrow.

I tell you this because hanging out with other musicians always makes my mind start to wander. So here I was driving home from my parent's house tonight... out in the country, listening to a Jill Phillips CD in the van... wondering and asking the same question that 14 year olds ask... "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

Have you ever noticed how life tends to complicate that question? The older we get, the more we tend to answer that question with simplified comments related to work and family and such. The more (at least in my case) we make excuses about how we could never do such and such.

As I mentioned in my last post (a month ago)... some things in life have really kind of shaken my thinking. They have really made me go back to the root of the question and then expand on it a little. "What does GOD want me to be AS I grow up?"

In my particular case, if I'm totally honest, I'd say that I struggle with where I think God wants me to be with whether or not I think I have any talents in that area. My lack of talent makes me fearful of taking any risks in certain areas... even if I think God wants me to trust Him.

So... it takes me back to my drive out on the country road tonight... What do I want to be when I grow up? I could list things like "a programmer" or "a musician"... but I think my answer is more along the lines of this: "obedient", "willing", "trusting"... you get the idea.

I'm not there yet. Not even close. Life has cause me so much panic lately that its just revealed to me more and more how much more I need to grow up. How much more I need to seek Him.

What do you think? Look at your life right now... would you be willing to take a step in a totally different direction?

In Him,
Jim