We Must Go...

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Christian Music Summit in Seattle, Washington with some members of the praise team from Parkview.

It was a great conference with lots of well known worship artists and Christian musicians from the past and present. Paul Baloche, Brian Doerksen, Pocket Full of Rocks, Phil Keaggy, Lincoln Brewster, Scott and Christine Dente (Out of the Grey), Zoro the drummer, Rick Cua, Billy Smiley (of White Heart), Roby Duke, Tim Hughes, Robbie Seay Band and Tommy Walker just to name a few of the presenters/performers.

There was a ton of great camaraderie among the four of us attendeding... including some great discussions on spirituality, worship, the journey that got us to that point in life and... well... lots of humor based around one-liners from movies and imitations of bodily functions (right, Steve!?).

These events (remember back to my post on going to Nashville?) always have a way of tugging at my heart. I don't think I could ever describe in words my mental state at events like this.

I don't attribute it to the abilities of any man, but more that I believe God has been/is trying to get my attention.

I don't know how many people were there, but they (for the most part) were all worship leaders and musicians... so imagine if you will your favorite praise song's a cappella section being sung by several thousand people in tight harmony. It was amazing.

I realized three things at this event:

1) I care too much about what people think. I was standing there during a particularly moving worship time (I'll talk more about this later) feeling like I wanted to be more outward with my expression of worship, but feeling too self-conscious about doing so because I was standing between Steve and Brian (two of the other team members). I was worried that I'd appear "freaky" to them... I should correct that... I was worried that I'd appear MORE freaky to them (I already take a fair amount of pounding for the fact that I color my hair and use more hair care products than any man should). Trading my worship for God for acceptance from man... hmmm.

2) I love worship through music. I love playing it. I love listening to it. I love taking Christ's salvation to the churched and unchurched alike. It seems to be deeply engraved in me as something that God either allows me to do or wants me to do. There is something about tying the beauty of music to the beauty of God's love for us. Don't take me wrong, I'm not anti-secular music... in fact me and another worship leader in town have been doing coffee shop gigs in which we use secular music as part of our set... I'm just saying there is something magic to the depth of God's love set to music for me.

3) This is the big one... this is the thing I've been wrestling with for a couple of years... God keeps bringing people and events into my life that deal with the orphans, widows, broken, homeless etc. I'm not sure how to process it all.

Maybe I'll save my commentary on it for another time, but I want to share with you the lyrics to a song this past weekend that has really been causing me to sit down and consider what we do with what God has given us.

The song is called "God of Justice" and it is from Tim Hughes most recent recording.

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go
Live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward
Keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in every way
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

That one line... "stepping forward - keep us from just singing - move us into action" just slays me.

I'll write more on what this has meant to me and my wrestling with God's will for me over the next few days.

Jim