This past weekend my friend John and I attended a conference in Franklin, Tennessee for independent Christian musicians.
John was actually nominated for an award (which he won!) and had asked me to attend because he thought the conference would be right up my alley.
I can honestly say that I wasn't expecting from the conference what I walked away with.
I went into the conference feeling pretty convinced that I knew the direction my life was heading. I walked out of the conference wondering if I was selling God short.
I know that all sounds rather cryptic, so let me try to define a little of what I'm struggling with:
I have several friends in and around the "music business". Over the years as I've been involved with their careers and various portions of my own musical life, I've tried to shape what I believe are my responsibilities (or lack thereof) related to my music and my faith.
I have a friend who believes that being a church musician is the ultimate for any musician. I have a friend who believes that all art (secular or religious) is a gift from God. I have a friend who believes that music is something he does for his own enjoyment and has little or no bearing on his walk as a believer. I have a friend who believes that music is the means by which we communicate God's love to unbelievers. I have a friend who believes that music is the means by which we remind of God's love to existing believers... etc etc.
I've walked many of these paths with different bands and such myself over the years.
Many of you who are Christians and musicians have probably dealt with or thought about the statement "I am a Christian who happens to be a musician" and what exactly that means to you.
I thought up until this past weekend that I was pretty comfortable with my stance on everything. I have considered myself (after years of being pushed around the system) as a musician who happens to be a Christian.
I purposed my "art" to be family friendly and tasteful, but wasn't overly concerned with how it was perceived as a ministry. Granted, since I also serve as a worship musician/leader I was able to convince myself that I was still using my talents to serve God.
The questions now look something like this in my mind: Am I doing what I do with my music because its easy or am I doing it because it is purposed? Am I doing what I do with my music (and my life) to bring glory to God or because it has become my habit?
I think the answer is that it really doesn't matter what your idea of music and ministry looks like, but what does matter is why you are doing it. Where is the heart of the matter?
This past weekend really revealed to me some things that I've known about myself for quite some time. It really touched on some things that perhaps I had given up on because a) the industry doesn't like it or b) because it is hard work. If I'm serving God, then the industry and my own concept of "work" doesn't really matter.
I can honestly say that I'm more confused (in a good way) about how to use my 34 year old life now than I was when I walked into the building in Franklin last Friday morning.
It is a scary thought to sit back with your comfortable life and say "God use me how you will".
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that I think I need to go out and be the next big thing in the Christian music scene. I don't believe that an achievement in an industry makes me any more Christ-like. What I am suggesting however, is examining the things I do and the purpose for which I do them. If I truly feel God has blessed me with a talent (which I still have not comfortably concluded), then I need to be using that gift for Him (in my opinion). What that looks like, I'm unsure of.
That's all for now... I'll chew more on this as I feel I have anything new to share!!
Jim
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4 comments:
Wow - very cool Jim. Great blog and introduction. Love the theme and the tie in. Very inspiring and challenging to me, too.
I can say three things in response to your 2nd post: One - while not truly realizing it, Scott mentioned something to me the other day in our review that I didn't fully understand I was doing, but it makes sense. He observed that I seem to do a good job of finding a place, or a situation where God is truly at work, realizing a role that He can use me for, and jumping in and not looking back. I hadn't fully consciously realized that, but looking back in ministry, and how I've approached things here at PV - that’s what I've done all along it seems; Look for where or how God is at work, and jump in and be a part of it. I also know that was a major principle in a Bible study called "Experiencing God" that was quite well known, that I did years ago at Willow. So anyway - find where God is at work - roll up your sleeves, find how you can uniquely contribute in ways that perhaps no one else or few others can, jump in, and do all you can.
2nd - The trumpet professor/Jazz Ensemble Director at NIU told us something once. His goal from early on was to be the best trumpet player in the world. And he got pretty good, playing in major symphony orchestras. However at a certain point, he realized he was never probably going to be "The Best" in the world. However what he did realize, was that in spite of that fact, there was STILL a place for him in the world of music - and a good one at that - but he really didn't have to be the "Best" or even close to that. There was still a place for him.
Last, I almost start taking offense when you say things like " If I truly feel God has blessed me with a talent (which I still have not comfortably concluded)" - I almost start to take offense because you’re talking about talent, skill, and gifting that GOD has created and given you. No, it's not "Yours" - you can't take credit for it, other than dutifully developing what God has given you - and you have done that very well to His glory, it's obvious. But when you say things like that, it's almost to me as if you're knocking God and a gift He's implanted in you. It's like if I gave my daughter a really nice present for Christmas that MANY girls would die for, and she throws it aside and says it's not all that great, or she doesn't deserve it. Well, yes, she may not deserve it, but my love is so great for her that I want her to have it. Same with God - God's love and trust in you and who HE MADE you to be is so great, that HE entrusted you with a precious gift, to use and steward for Him. To say "if" you have that gift, or that you're not sure or comfortable with it yet - goes against every bit of affirmation I know you receive and have received from others. Beyond that, you have the track record, recordings, and live performances to prove it. Now, I know you're not as extreme to say that you're tossing it aside or not recognizing it, but you need to claim the fact that God gave you a gift. It's in you. You don't need to worry about if you deserve it, or if you're really comfortable with it. God GAVE it to you. His call to you is to use it for His glory. Find where He's working and His workers are strong in Him - get busy, roll up your sleeves, jump in, and start using it. Do you have to be the best? No. Are you? No. Do you have to be famous? No. And you're up on all that. But does God have a place and great need/use for you? By all means He does! Anywhere where He's working. Go for it.
Love ya bro,
- John
Very well said, John. I take your comments to heart.
I like your illustration about the gift and such.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the "jumping in" part. I think I've spent many years dipping my toe in the water, kind of feeling like I should be jumping in. This past weekend was a reminder to me that if we are truly followers of Christ, then we NEED to jump in.
I'm just trying to figure out which end of the pool is the right one, without drowning myself. Haha
Jim
YOUR QUESTION…
“The questions now look something like this in my mind: Am I doing what I do with my music because its easy or am I doing it because it is purposed? Am I doing what I do with my music (and my life) to bring glory to God or because it has become my habit?”
I think this is an important question to ask and I am glad you are asking it. Sounds a little like Psalm 139:23 “Search me, O God, and know my heart.”
This isn’t a bad posture to be in as long as you’re questioning doesn’t paralyze you from making your life a living sacrifice. The Christian life should be filled with adventure and risk. Read any story of faith in the scriptures and you’ll find a person who poured out their life at great risk to follow God in obedience.
YOUR ANSWER…
“I think the answer is that it really doesn't matter what your idea of music and ministry looks like, but what does matter is why you are doing it.“
I agree… as long as your “music and ministry” is honoring God and advancing His mission.
This is where the rubber meets the road for me. I’ll be honest, I have a VERY low view of the music industry and believe that the majority of touring music artists aren’t really making a long term difference in the lives of believers and/or unbelievers. I also believe that the majority of touring artists have no accountability and are playing with many band members who are marginal at best regarding their faith. I am not going to spend a lot of time arguing this because I am neither qualified nor want to take the time. As a disclaimer… I do understand it is wrong to stereotype the industry and must admit that God has used it for many good things in many lives. I just think there are some major problems that tend to define the industry in a negative light.
My main thought is that the Church is God’s instituted means to change the world and advance his gospel. It seems to me that this means anyone desiring to get on board with God’s mission would need to find a way to do this within the context of the church.
This is why I like you so much Jim! You are doing an excellent job at serving the Lord in this way and impacting thousands of lives in the process!
Scott,
I absolutely agree with you from the perspective of the "industry" being misguided and lacking in accountability. I've seen it and even been a part of it.
The furthest question from my mind is "what can I do to be famous or part of the industry?" The question at hand is more along the lines of "what does being obedient look like in regard to my talents and my desires to minister?"
I think one thing I discovered at the conference is that there are groups of people desiring to turn the Christian music industry back around. To use it more as a ministry and less as an entertainment value.
These are the people that are willing to play against the stereotypes of what "Christian music looks like" and worry more about what God looks like.
I certainly don't have the answers and I am certainly struggling with knowing where my place in all of this is (church music included). The funny thing is, *I'm* the only one questioning how I fit in certain situations.
I always feel like I'm not quite the person needed for various positions, but in a way that's the beauty of it all, right?
As John and Dan can attest, probably my biggest struggle in life has been centered around the concept of being able to love myself as God's creation. I often (if not always) assume that people who desire my involvement in ministries are either a) misled about my abilities or b) simply don't have any other options.
So in a way, that makes this whole scenario completely opposite of what I've heard others deal with... I'm trying to say "God, ok if you think you can use me and my music then I want to be used even though I have my reservations... show me where to go and I'll go!" versus people who might say "God, I know I'm awesome at music... why haven't you put me into ministry yet!?"
I guess if I had to chose between being arrogant or insecure, I'm happy that I'm insecure!! hahaha
Thanks for the comment, Scott!
Jim
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