Monday, July 9, 2007

Sorting It Out

You ever have those moments where life just seems... well... heavy?

Things that once brought great joy just seem to ring a little empty?

How about feelings of anxiety or depression related to times of year?

What do you attribute those feelings to? Is it coincidence? Is it chemical? Is it purely emotional?

Could it be something deeper? How about spiritual? Is there a literal battle between God and Satan for our heart and mind?

Truly, I'd like to know your thoughts. My reason? Well... lately I've been walking through one of those valleys.

I won't bore you with details, but let me just say that some things have been occuring in my personal life that are causing anxiety.

For example, my 91 (almost 92) year old grandmother fell down on the final morning of our family reunion a week or so ago and broke her hip/leg. If you knew my grandmother, you'd understand that this is a huge setback for her. She is very independent and acts like a woman of much fewer years. There is a chance she might spend the rest of her life in a care facility... when just days ago she was dancing the night away with the rest of the family as we played and sang music out on the deck of the cabin.

My uncle (who happens to live near my grandmother) and his wife have been evacuated from their new home in the Black Hills due to an approaching wild fire. As of this evening, the fire is about 1 mile from their house.

A close friend of mine (he's like a brother to me) and his wife recently found out that they have lost a baby during pregnancy.

Of the four areas I consider the "focus" of my life (God, family/friends, work and music) I can honestly say that none of them are settled. Each one has its unique stress and cause for anxiety right now.

Some of them are things I've subjected myself to and some of them are things that I have no control over, but could impact my life and the lives of others.

So the past few days have been rough for me.

I'm normally a person who really doesn't mind being alone. In fact I often enjoy a little peace and quiet. However a few days ago I found myself alone while my family was away at an event and well... I really didn't want to be alone that particular night.

What's that all about?

Sometimes it is scary waiting to see how God is going to handle something, isn't it? Makes you wonder how some of the people in the Bible felt when God gave them an instruction that from a human perspective might have seemed vague or seemed to just be irresponsible or illogical.

Do we... do I... trust God enough to know that He has a plan already crafted for my life and the lives of those around me that I care about?

In Him,
Jim