Depth Of Heart

I've been struggling a bit lately. I'll be honest. My life "isn't as it should be" by my standards (and I'm sure God's as well). There are always too many projects and too few hours. Too many priorities get shoved aside for too many emergencies. Life is chaotic.

I was driving home tonight from a rehearsal contemplating all the things about my character that would disappoint God. Basically, blaming myself for not achieving better results in my walk with God. Trying to finagle my mind into reworking my emergencies into well compartmentalized and strategized timely tasks, so that I could THEN give God the time and effort He deserves.

Funny, isn't it? Trying to "be all that I can be" so that God would love me more or listen to my cries and prayers more closely?

In my time of reflection, a song came on the radio that I had never heard before. It is called "I'm Singing" and is by an artist name Kari Jobe.

Allow me to quote a portion of the song:

And I'm singing to the God
Who brings redemption to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise
And I'm singing to the God
Who wrote the book on our salvation
To the One who covers me in grace
I'm Singing

Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth will prevail
Only one love brings you freedom
Only one Man took the nails

When I heard this song, my first reaction was to switch the station because it is somewhat repetitive and not lyrically very deep. You see, as a worship leader there is this constant ebb and flow about songs being too shallow and not meaty enough contrasted with songs being so deep that they are beyond common understanding.

I get caught up in one end or the other and sometimes fail to grasp the only thing that really matters... can I/am I giving God His due respect and worship with the song, regardless of depth of content?

Kari's song was simple, but the more it played (it really is a great song, in spite of my initial response) the more I realized that there was extreme depth of heart in the simplicity of the lyrics.

I'm singing to the God that brings redemption to the nations

When I'm worshiping God in song, I'm not singing to a figment of my imagination, I'm presenting praise before the King of all of the heavens and all of the earth. I'm singing to the God to whom the very rocks will cry out if we do not give Him praise.

Tonight, in my time of disgust with who I am as a person, God reminded me through a simple song that He's not after my achievements. He's not after the deepest theological song I can find. He's not after the finest crafted words I can compose.

He's after a depth of heart. He's after a man that is willing to praise Him in simplicity as well as complexity. He's after whatever it is I have to offer Him right now... big or small.

The bottom line is, I need to be before God where I am now. Not once I have things figured out and back in order... but right now. I need to be "singing" to my God.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you've been distant from God as you've been trying to "right your life" in one form or another. As Kari sings in her song...

Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth will prevail
Only one love brings you freedom
Only one Man took the nails

I for one am ready to stop hearing from me and start hearing the only one... from God.

In Him,
Jim

Mortality

This afternoon I emailed my friend Joel about some songs he and I are considering working on together. The response I received was not one that I expected.

He told me that he hasn't been able to listen to the songs yet, because a close friend of his died tragically this past week.

She was apparently trying to rescue a young girl from a river when she was overtaken by the current herself and drown.

My friend wrote a song for the funeral.

I took a listen to it tonight and was struck by the beauty of the words that he had to say about his friend.

It makes me wonder what people would say about me? It makes me wonder what I would say about the people I know? How well do I know them and how well do they know me?

It also makes me realize that your health today doesn't always equate to your life tomorrow. Sometimes God defies all earthly reasoning and keeps people like my friend Jody alive... while taking people like Joel's friend.

It puts into perspective the days that I'm too wrapped up in myself to care for others. Or the times that I bark at the kids because they aren't behaving as I expect.

How well did we use today? How much faith do we put in tomorrow?

Maybe I'll ask Joel if I can post a link to the song here. It truly is a beautiful tribute to his friend.

In Him,
Jim

The Flood And The Call

So, if you watch the news at all, you probably know that Iowa has been dealing with some serious flooding. Cedar Rapids (the town I live in) has been experiencing a 500-year flood, which essentially means we've never seen anything like it before.

Life, as we know it, has changed.

In Iowa City, the church I serve at was completely overtaken by water - requiring us to hold our services in a local school auditorium.

This weekend, I left Cedar Rapids at 5:00 am to head for Iowa City. What would have normally been a 40 minute drive on major interstates turned into an hour and 15 minute drive across small highways and gravel back roads. In my 30 some odd years of living in the Cedar Rapids and Iowa City areas, I drove through parts that I never even knew existed... hoping and praying that my old Honda with her 202,000 earned miles would safely make the journey.

As I made the trek early yesterday morning, there were hardly any cars out and about. As the sun lazily poked its head up from the east, I was amazed by the landscape that was being revealed. There were ponds of water and swollen rivers all over the countryside, clearly showing why the other routes between the two cities were closed.

As I sit here today contemplating a pretty big mental struggle in my life, I can't help but reflect on how God's call is like my drive through the flood: I often assume God will show up in ways that make sense to me... much like I've always assumed that the interstate would be open for me to travel upon... but sometimes its when God has us on those uncharted back roads, filled with uncertainty, that His light most clearly reveals the dangers He is helping us avoid. Much like the watery landscape that I could see from my back road adventure.

When I arrived in Iowa City yesterday morning I was early, so I turned the engine off , rolled down the window and sat listening to the birds chirping and the cool wind blowing. Amazed at the tranquility at the end of my journey. Not because I was clear of any additional storms, but more so because for that brief moment I could enjoy God's beauty in spite of the storms after a journey of doubt.

The time I spent worshiping with the church that morning was precious.

I guess my prayer in all of this is to be willing to "get in the car and drive". Its easy in a situation such as a flood to hole up and ignore your surroundings. Its easy to say "if I can't get there my way, I won't go at all". I want to allow God to take me on those back roads and reveal to me the dangers that He has helped me avoid. I want God to show me that willingness is stronger than fear. And I want to take the time between the storms to roll down the windows and reflect on the journey.

In Him,
Jim

Conviction, The Holy Spirit And Hot Dogs

This past Friday afternoon, I had the pleasure of lunch with a friend and coworker of mine. Granted, I normally get to eat lunch on Fridays with my coworkers, but this particular Friday it was just me and Jeff... and when its just me and Jeff, we tend to eat less healthy foods than usual. Friday's choice was a favorite of mine - the Flying Wienie in Cedar Rapids.

For those 10 or 20 of you that actually own a Just William CD, we actually featured a cup with the Flying Wienie logo in one of the pictures on the inside of the CD cover.

The food was of course excellent, but the conversation was nice too.

Jeff is a very intelligent man... far smarter than I am. His office is immaculate - mine usually looks like a series of small tornadoes attacked some cross of a music store, a Mt. Dew factory and a home office. His lawn is nicely manicured - mine doesn't need mowing, because the dandelions have such pretty flowers and it would be a shame to cut them all to pieces.

All additional Felix Ungar/Oscar Madison comparisons aside, Jeff and I share a love for the arts and I believe both of us have hearts for being obedient toward God's will.

I appreciated the time of being able to bounce my scattered rants past Jeff and see where that directed the conversation.

To say that life has been crazy lately, would be an understatement. To claim that my heart isn't being torn in two over many situations, would be less than honest. To state that I desire clarity of direction from God, would be far too mild... but in the midst of it all, I praise God for conversations such as the one this past Friday. Conversations where smarter men than I reassure me that my convictions aren't crazy.

I've had several of those lately... this past week with Jeff, a few weeks back when Ashley and I met John and Sharon in Dubuque, a phone call here and there from my friend Paul and several late night talks with my wife, Ashley.

So... why on earth the title of this particular post? Well, its simple: Godly conviction, the work of the Holy Spirit and Flying Wienie hot dogs have all shared a special place in my heart this past week... I also can't seem to get my fill of any of them.. and they all seem better when shared with a friend.

Grab a friend and go down to the Flying Wienie. Order up a "double play" (two dogs Chicago style) and sit back and ask each other what it is God wants to communicate in and through our lives. Trust me, it makes for an enjoyable and thought provoking afternoon.

In Him,
Jim

Are We Too Apathetic?

Today I was getting ready for the day and had the Weather Channel on. They were discussing the weather for tonight's space shuttle landing. I had no idea that the shuttle was landing tonight... I barely even remembered that it had been launched.

I started thinking about how "routine" it has become for our space program to take a large chunk of metal, propelled by controlled explosions and send it hurdling past the earth's atmosphere to rendezvous with other chunks of metal held in a somewhat continuous orbit in space.

I remember in Jr. High going to the school library to watch the shuttle launches and landings live... because they were such a big deal. I was even there watching live when the Challenger catastrophe happened.

My point being, the amazing feats involved with such shuttle launches and landings are no less astonishing today... we've simply become accustomed to them.

Parallel this with our walk as a Christian. Have we become so accustomed to the miracle of salvation that we treat it as common place? Are we still amazed daily at the grace provided to us by a loving God and how that has forever changed our eternity?

I might just have to have the kids sit down tonight and watch the shuttle landing.

Jim

Life: Carnival ride or perfectly orchestrated plan?

Hey everyone. I know it has been a while since I last sat down to share with you all that has been going on. I apologize for that.

With that out of the way, let me talk to you a little bit about "life". I find it funny how God seems to take people through similar paths in life. I've been dealing with a lot of things that are weighing heavy on my heart and mind lately (more on that later) and dwelling on the distance that I seem to create between me and God when I am "in the valley" (as my good friend, Mango would say).

Its a feeling of complete loneliness.

For some reason this afternoon, I decided to look at my band's (I should say ex-band's) MySpace page and noticed that my friend, Jason, added a blog post to his MySpace about prayer. More specifically he posted about dealing with his lack of prayer and disappointment of prayers of the past. The entire post is on a site he is involved with called "The Rabbit Room" and can be found here.

I'll be honest with you... reading the post brought me to a point of helplessness (because I'm not coming out of my valley like Jason is), fear (because I'm reminded of the troubles in life right now) and jealousy (because Jason speaks so eloquently into the lives of others via cool things like "The Rabbit Room" and I'm just... well... me).

How sick is that?

So what's going on that brings this heaviness? Let me give a quick list:

1) Job anxiety: I'll leave it at this, but know that there are significant changes that leave me anything but comfortable and confident.

2) Church anxiety: I started a new service with three friends at a church here in town almost 1 year ago. Two of the friends have removed themselves from any sort of active involvement, which leads the brunt of the work for the other two.

3) Basement anxiety: We've lived in this house for nearly 5 years now. We finally decided to move on finishing the basement (we have a two year old living in our closet because the rooms for the children aren't done in the basement). As we've worked on the basement we've run into multiple issues: leaky, condensating windows, cracks in the foundation, budget issues (see reason #1), time issues (see reason #1 and #2), etc.

4) Health anxiety: My family has been sick this fall/winter. Don't know why, but it seems like as soon as one is healthy, the next one falls. Once it gets around to all six of us, it just seems to start over.

5) Personal disappointment: Over the past year, my convictions in certain areas related to our purpose and pursuits have strengthened considerably. The problem is, the more I strive after purpose, the more disappointed in my abilities I become.

What all does this amount to? Well, honestly not really much. There's nothing in the above list that really matters from an eternal perspective. Yet these very things have driven walls between me and God. I know that God didn't put the walls up, which means that I must have... so... here we go back to reason #5.

People always suggest taking a step back and gaining perspective on things. Or perhaps reading a book about particular matters. The big problem is that when I feel so strapped for time and energy that I can't even read THE book or talk to THE Man about what's going on, how could ever make time for some other reading material?

Now don't get me wrong... God's still done some amazing things lately. The problem is, I just simply don't understand "why?"... or better yet "why me?". This holds equally true for both the good and the bad situations.

Do you ever pray for God to show up in an amazingly unmistakable way? Do something so outrageous that there is no way to doubt? Did He do it or was it a case (as Jason describes) where you were just talking to yourself?

It is times like this that I wonder "is this a perfect plan or just a carnival ride?"

My heart knows what the answer is, but my mind seems to want to disagree.

Jim

When I Grow Up...

Wow... so it has really been over a month since I last wrote something here, eh? Sorry about that. I know my millions of readers are just sitting on the edge of their seat waiting to see what witty, deep and/or insightful river of intellect will spew from my mouth next. (Did that sound sarcastic enough? *grin*)

Truth be told, I have been insanely busy with work projects lately. The company that I work for (Laridian) has been working on some awesome new products and all of us at work have been swept up in the necessities surrounding the release of new products.

I just got home tonight (1:29 AM) from letting a musical friend of mine into my parent's house for the weekend. He's been out on the road and drove in from another state tonight to play at church tomorrow.

I tell you this because hanging out with other musicians always makes my mind start to wander. So here I was driving home from my parent's house tonight... out in the country, listening to a Jill Phillips CD in the van... wondering and asking the same question that 14 year olds ask... "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

Have you ever noticed how life tends to complicate that question? The older we get, the more we tend to answer that question with simplified comments related to work and family and such. The more (at least in my case) we make excuses about how we could never do such and such.

As I mentioned in my last post (a month ago)... some things in life have really kind of shaken my thinking. They have really made me go back to the root of the question and then expand on it a little. "What does GOD want me to be AS I grow up?"

In my particular case, if I'm totally honest, I'd say that I struggle with where I think God wants me to be with whether or not I think I have any talents in that area. My lack of talent makes me fearful of taking any risks in certain areas... even if I think God wants me to trust Him.

So... it takes me back to my drive out on the country road tonight... What do I want to be when I grow up? I could list things like "a programmer" or "a musician"... but I think my answer is more along the lines of this: "obedient", "willing", "trusting"... you get the idea.

I'm not there yet. Not even close. Life has cause me so much panic lately that its just revealed to me more and more how much more I need to grow up. How much more I need to seek Him.

What do you think? Look at your life right now... would you be willing to take a step in a totally different direction?

In Him,
Jim

Sorting It Out

You ever have those moments where life just seems... well... heavy?

Things that once brought great joy just seem to ring a little empty?

How about feelings of anxiety or depression related to times of year?

What do you attribute those feelings to? Is it coincidence? Is it chemical? Is it purely emotional?

Could it be something deeper? How about spiritual? Is there a literal battle between God and Satan for our heart and mind?

Truly, I'd like to know your thoughts. My reason? Well... lately I've been walking through one of those valleys.

I won't bore you with details, but let me just say that some things have been occuring in my personal life that are causing anxiety.

For example, my 91 (almost 92) year old grandmother fell down on the final morning of our family reunion a week or so ago and broke her hip/leg. If you knew my grandmother, you'd understand that this is a huge setback for her. She is very independent and acts like a woman of much fewer years. There is a chance she might spend the rest of her life in a care facility... when just days ago she was dancing the night away with the rest of the family as we played and sang music out on the deck of the cabin.

My uncle (who happens to live near my grandmother) and his wife have been evacuated from their new home in the Black Hills due to an approaching wild fire. As of this evening, the fire is about 1 mile from their house.

A close friend of mine (he's like a brother to me) and his wife recently found out that they have lost a baby during pregnancy.

Of the four areas I consider the "focus" of my life (God, family/friends, work and music) I can honestly say that none of them are settled. Each one has its unique stress and cause for anxiety right now.

Some of them are things I've subjected myself to and some of them are things that I have no control over, but could impact my life and the lives of others.

So the past few days have been rough for me.

I'm normally a person who really doesn't mind being alone. In fact I often enjoy a little peace and quiet. However a few days ago I found myself alone while my family was away at an event and well... I really didn't want to be alone that particular night.

What's that all about?

Sometimes it is scary waiting to see how God is going to handle something, isn't it? Makes you wonder how some of the people in the Bible felt when God gave them an instruction that from a human perspective might have seemed vague or seemed to just be irresponsible or illogical.

Do we... do I... trust God enough to know that He has a plan already crafted for my life and the lives of those around me that I care about?

In Him,
Jim

Castle On A Hill?

This past weekend was a busy one... between leading songs for Saturday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night services and getting ready for a show I'm doing with another artist this upcoming weekend, my fingers are sore to the bone and I'm feeling pretty warn out. None of the services felt particularly "safe" from my standpoint, but that's ok because it is not about me, right?

The weekend did allow me some time to talk with some trusted friends and contemplate a few things that have been nagging at me for some time.

I even started working some more on a few songs that I'd like to record on my own... a scary endeavor for someone who isn't confident in their talents and has always had other band mates to help him along the way.

I've been asking a few "friends" in the music business to write some songs with me, but as of yet I haven't been able to convince any of them... maybe I smell bad or something. *grin*

Maybe my frustration with some of the other things in life has skewed my perception, but I wanted to share one thing that has really been heavy on my heart and mind over the past year or so. It is a phenomenon in which churches and individuals have become increasingly inward focused. Of course there is "nothing new under the sun", but hear me out for a moment...

Matthew 5:14 talks about being like a city on a hill... basically being so filled with our purpose in God, that we cannot help but show Him to others. However, most of what I see these days reminds me more of a castle on a hill. We spend so much time arguing symantics and difference between churches... or even WITHIN churches... that there is little to no time left to be any sort of light to others. We've made it all about the pomp and circumstance... The legalism over the intended purpose... The casual Christian over the follower of Christ.

How many times do things like attire in the church need to be discussed? How about all the things that are wrong with such and such church across town? How about the battles between the youth and the older generations in the church?

The list can go on and on: dispensations, gifts, teaching styles, music styles, etc.

As these battles rage on behind the closed gate of our castles, the villagers are starving in the little town at the bottom of the hill.

I'm not suggesting that some differences and some discussions aren't worth having... but I am suggesting that we need to be very careful about what we make issue over because of most of them are based upon personal preference. We can of course find some weak, out of context references to pick our battles, but by in large we simply don't need to go there.

I've had a few experiences in my life that have really changed my way of thinking... maybe someday I'll discuss them, but chances are I'm the only one who finds them interesting. What I discovered in all of this is that although I consider myself conservative (I'm talking spiritually... let's leave politics out for right now)... I've learned that the more conservative I become, the more radical/liberal I am beginning to look in the modern church's eyes. The more Christ like I intend to be, the less legalistic and prim and proper I become.

You tell me... if Jesus was here walking the earth in the form of a man right now, do you think He'd be arguing within the church walls about whether we should wear a suit and tie versus jeans and a button down shirt... or do you think He would be asking us why we aren't taking His word beyond the walls of our castle?

A city on a hill invites people in... a castle on a hill closes people off in order to protect their way of life... which would you rather be?

In Him,
Jim

(all bible passage links are from BibleGateway.com)

Taking It For Granted

Over the past three weeks I have been involved with a new worship service. This service is particularly aimed at calling God's people to action and challenging them beyond their status quo. This all seems like something that most Christians should already understand, but I'm convinced it really isn't the case... starting with myself!

This past Sunday night, I conducted an impromptu poll during the service. I asked the congregation to raise their hand if they own a shirt with the name or logo of their favorite sports team. Probably 75% of the people in the room raised their hand. Next I asked how many people own a shirt with their favorite music group, TV show or movie. Once again I would say about 60% of the congregation raised their hand. Next I asked how many people are ashamed to wear those shirts in public. Not a single hand went up.

The point of the poll was to explain how much emphasis and enthusiasm we put behind things of this world... even things that we aren't even remotely involved in. We like to celebrate the lack of mediocrity among OTHER people.

Imagine what this world could be like if we had the same lack of shame for "wearing" Jesus on a day to day basis. Imagine what it would be like if expressing our faith in God was as simple and effortless as grabbing your favorite sporting team's shirt out of the closet for the day. Imagine what it would be like if our response toward worship and praise to God equaled the response that we often show while watching someone make a touchdown or cross the finish line neck and neck with another opponent?

Imagine what it would be like if we entered into things like communion with full appreciation of the greatest gift ever given us... instead of just following the crowd.

Grown men will jump out of their chairs and scream at the TV in "worship" of a couple dozen college kids... whom they have never met and know nothing of their character... running into each other on a big plot of grass.

That same man will sit bored out of his mind in church on Sunday morning after having spent the past 6 days "avoiding" God... the Creator of the universe... ignoring the fact that we have a specific relationship with God through Christ and are therefore purposed for His work and worship. We aren't just a spectator with season tickets.

God designed us to be passionate people. Christ showed several times over that He Himself responded WITH (not BECAUSE of) emotion.

So... I challenge you... I challenge me... when you are sitting down to listen to your favorite CD this week, ask yourself if you've spent the same amount of energy in understanding God's beauty as you have your favorite song lyrics and chord progressions? When you watch the latest movie or your favorite TV show, ask yourself if you've spent the same time understanding God's story as you have following Jack Bauer? When you watch your favorite sports team compete on the field, ask yourself if you've spent the same amount of enthusiasm being a witness for Christ as you have being a fan of a group men or women.

In Him,
Jim

It Is Nice To Know...

A good friend of mine recently emailed me about some struggles he is having. Without explaining his situation, let me just say that I can't imagine any one handling it better than he has. It has been amazing to watch.

That's not how he sees it, however. He told me that he at times feels like he is being fake or being a poser, because he always seems to slip back into a world of doubt and fear.

I can relate to what he is saying... when things get busy it just seems natural to feel overwhelmed and it becomes very easy to lose perspective. Sitting here even now, I'm balancing about 5 different major tasks for the day (involving work, church, personal stuff etc) and feeling like I'd rather just go back to bed.

The interesting thing is that I don't think my friend and I are the only ones who struggle with this ebb and flow. In fact I know we aren't.

My bible reading lately has me in the early part of Judges. I am amazed at how Israel continuously stands up and falls down over and over.

It sort of reminds me of watching my children when asked to stop doing something: they show brief remorse as they are rebuked, but left to their own devices the will revert back to it again within a matter of minutes. Over and over the cycle goes.

This is not to say that I ought to be happy with the fact that I have my lulls, but it does prove once again that "there is nothing new under the sun".

In Him,
Jim

People Disappoint Me

It is true... I said it... I mean it... people disappoint me.

Over the past several weeks I have had a few situations in which I was hoping for responses or reactions from particular individuals. In one case, they have yet to responsed... in another, we talk from time to time but anytime something of substance comes up, they tend to disappear.

In talking with a close friend here in town (hey Ostrich!!) it seems that I'm not the only one disappointed by the way people act and think. He's been spending his time lately dealing with a very difficult situation in which many people are thinking of one thing and one thing only... themselves.

None of this is surprising, after all each and every one of us is constantly caught up in the battle between God and flesh, mind and heart, "life" and living.

None of the people I am disappointed by "owe" me anything... I'm not waiting for them to fulfill a promise or anything of that sort, I just simply expected more from them.

As my mind wanders, I start to think about all of the times that people have expected more of me than I was willing to give... be it my wife, my kids, my parents, my friends, my church, my job/bosses, myself or even my Lord. It is a sobering thought!

I've been reading in Joshua and Judges lately and have been amazed at how many people in the bible disappointed God... Judges in particular is full of God showing favor followed by disappointment toward people who simply didn't seem to "get it". There were consequences, but God was faithful to His plan for those people.

We are very much the same way... constantly and consistently disappointing God and crying out to Him when things don't go our way... yet the Lord still desires to call each of us His own. How amazing is that? He is the ONLY one with truly unconditional love.

What an example... here we are, a world full of disappointing people, and yet God desires us to spend time with Him.

I guess the point of this all is when people disappoint me, it must be because I am looking at them through my eyes instead of God's.

In Him,
Jim

When It Rains... It Snows?

You ever get the feeling that the harder you try to get things on track, the more impossible it seems to be?

My wife and I were discussing this the other night. We have both committed to a bible reading plan and have been having fun picking on each other as one of us gets ahead of the other during the day.

Then those little things started happening... I had a discussion with a close friend over some things that have been on my heart and received a response that wasn't quite what I expected from them... My car comes out of the repair shop with a large dollar amount of repairs, and it now looks like there are some additional things to be done, which of course means more money... Our 2 year old son, Griffin, spiked a 105 degree fever last night (which thankfully came down a few degrees), causing a chain reaction of events needing to be canceled including our daughter Grace's birthday party and a field trip to the art museum... I came up to my office to check email and I had an email about my good friend Jody's condition being less than ideal (I'll explain this in another post sometime)... Another email stated that a friend's son was checked into the hospital last night because he has been confused, disoriented and very lethargic... And to top if all off, after a few weeks of beautiful Spring weather, it is now snowing in Iowa. Weather experts predict a decent amount of accumulation and some icy roads and such.

So, what gives? Is it that our brain becomes hyper aware of our surroundings when we are trying to stay on track? Is it something deeper? A spiritual warfare of sorts? Is it God seeing if we truly are trusting Him in all matters? Is it all just coincidence?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting here thinking the world is caving in around me and playing the pity game... nothing of the sort. I'm very thankful for the things in my life that are both good and bad. I just find it interesting that this is the way the pattern seems to work at times and thought I'd throw it out there for comment.

Do I believe it could be a spiritual warfare thing? Sure. Do I believe it could be God allowing trial? Sure. Do I believe that it might just be coincidence? Sure. Do I believe that I have to know the reason? Absolutely not. I'm not God (nor would I want to be... wow, talk about stress!!)

I think it is a good reminder that there are lots of things that happen in life that we can't explain. Some major and some minor. I hold to the fact that if we knew why things happen to us or those around us, we wouldn't really have a need to trust God, now would we? Part of my faith is knowing that God is God and that no matter how bizarre, coincidental or painful the circumstance, He is still God.

"My hope is built on nothing less..."

In Him,
Jim