Me And Habakkuk

Hello?? Is this thing on?? Mic check... mic check...

Now that you are listening, let me ask you a question. How are things in your life right now? How is your walk with God? How has He chosen to answer your deepest prayers or your strongest hopes and dreams?

It's always said that God works in mysterious ways. I know that isn't a new thought, but let me ask this: Why is it that we consider His ways "mysterious"? We often say that it is because "God's ways are not our own..." or because "He works all things for His good...". While these things are certainly true, I think the reality is that we label God's actions and directions as mysterious because they don't line up with how we would have handled any number of situations. The word "mysterious" is our politically correct replacement for "illogical", "undeserved" or "confusing". Insert any number of words in its place.

"Mysterious" is what we say when we are in public, while "wow, God... that really hacks me off" is what we say in private. Come on, you know it's true.

I've been thinking through some situations lately that have, for lack of a better term, really caused me some hurt. Things that I really didn't expect to go any other way, but yet they grind at the very core of my mindset.

At least one of the situations involves an individual that I believe would sell his own heart if it meant stepping up in the world in stature. The funny thing is... it appears that it is paying off for this individual. Wow, God... Your answers sure are mysterious!

A couple other situations relate to dear friends who are suffering or have suffered far more than one would ever think they deserve. Wow, God... Your ways certainly are not our own. Wow, God... You sure works all things for Your good.

Yet some others relate to how I expected God to answer some long held prayers, when in reality His answers came back so far from my expectations that I'm still recovering from whiplash. Wow, God... Your ways certainly are not our own.

For those who might think my comments are sarcastic toward God, I assure you they are nothing of the sort. Consider them public reminders to myself and please... continue reading.

I'll be honest, I'm a person who really would rather carry his own emotional burdens and stuff it all inside, but the more I do this, the more my compassion and contentment are replaced with bitterness and frustration. I've had to make a conscience effort to pray for my own attitude and for the very people and situations involved in the things that frustrate me so... though I struggle not to do so with gritted teeth.

Working through all of the thought processes associated with a personality such as mine, reminded me tonight of the book of Habakkuk. If you know the story at all, Habakkuk essentially called out to God with his frustrations about the injustice and inadequacies of the world around him. He expected the Lord to act differently. He expected the Lord to respond with the same action and in the same time frame as he, himself, would have.

God responded to Habakkuk with a reminder of who holds the power of all. He reminded Habakkuk who holds the ultimate authority. He reminded Habakkuk to not put too much merit in the way things appear, but to put faith in a God of response, who executes His plan with perfect precision.

Habakkuk closes with a prayer to God, rejoicing in who He is... rather than what He hasn't done (in accordance to what we believe His will should be). I'm not sure if Habakkuk's prayer is really one of a convinced man or is more one along the lines of "I know in my heart that this is true, so God please help me to act accordingly when my faith is weak".

Regardless of intent, there is one line that stuck out to me tonight. It reads as follows:

Habakkuk 3:18 (NIV)
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

I love the fact that it begins with "yet". Though the verse prior uses poetic illustrations of "bad things", this is Habakkuk's way of saying "Lord... These things really stink... *yet* I will rejoice..."

I'm not sure what you are struggling with in your own life right now, but for me... this was a good reminder that I am not God... That complaining about the imperfections of others is no excuse for pretending I don't hold many of the same flaws. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

I need to work toward my "yet" prayer.

Lord, I am broken in more ways than I can count.

I expect You to act in whatever ways I see fit, paying more attention to my own idea of a perfect plan than I do Your perfect will... and I ask Your forgiveness for this.

Lord, let me rejoice in Your works and your ways, even if they truly are mysterious to me.

Let me be a part of whatever it is that You desire and let me not hold bitterness towards others that are a part of what *I* desire.

Let me love others in spite of their flaws, just as You do with me.

Restore my content and compassionate spirit and allow me to live for You instead of for me.

And all God's people said... Amen.

In Him,
Jim

Thank You, Mr. Key...

Monday afternoon, I received an email from my good friend Jason. The message was short and sweet. It read, "Dana Key died yesterday :(." There was that short moment of disbelief as I typed his name into Google... just to find that it was indeed true. Dana Key of Memphis, Tennessee died Sunday night at the age of 56.

Maybe Dana's name isn't one that rings a bell with most people, but let me tell you that he played an instrumental part in my life.

Dana Key was the singer and guitarist for the band DeGarmo and Key.

I first saw DeGarmo and Key at a show in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I was just barely a teenager. I didn't think I was going there to spend time with God... I actually went there to spend time with a girl (who is now my wife!)... but God apparently wanted to spend some time with me.

Through Mr. Key's words and amazing musicianship, God showed me that He was far more than I had ever learned about in the circles of my childhood. I left that evening a changed man.

I had the pleasure of writing Dana a year or so back to share with him all that I experienced that night. I guess in hindsight now, I'm glad I was able to do so.

Thank you, Mr. Key for allowing the Father to speak through you to some messed up little boy those many years ago.

In Him,
Jim

Cat Got Your Tongue?

OK... so I guess this past year has been one of the bigger absences from my little corner of the blogosphere that I've ever had. I was just reading some of my more recent posts and realized that just a few posts back I talk about the birth of my youngest son... who is now over a year old. So what gives?

There are all the typical excuses: Life got too busy, not enough time, blogging is going out of style (not that I've EVER been known as stylish), life has had some difficult changes over the past year, I've got nothing to say (I'm sure most who know me wish that this would be the case)... but the truth is, it just slipped my mind. It dropped on the massive scale of my priorities.

While I don't think it's a bad thing to re-evaluate priorities and while I certainly don't think that blogging about my life to a handful of those who are interested is necessarily a "high" priority as it relates to other things happening, there are a couple things that disturb me about my silence. First, it shows me how easily I tend to stray from something and second, it shows how easily I forget to reflect upon what God is doing in my family's lives.

It has been an amazing and difficult year. Countless things have occurred that have run the gamut of excruciating to amazing... some even could be classified as both. God has done things that I never thought possible. He's presented heroes in the most unlikely forms. He's pushed open doors that I never knew existed. He's shaken ground that I thought was hearty and strong. He's allowed challenges that have torn at the very core of who I am as a person... yet, He's also shown me that above all else, He is faithful to His children... even when I've set Him aside like the blog posts of yesteryear.

I don't want to be silent. I want my voice, heart and mind to remain focused on the God who has shown Himself to be anything by silent over the past year. I want to be willing to share the wonder of how He's been working in my family... not just so that others can be encouraged, but so that I too can continue to reflect upon the one who is not silent... rather than letting it slip away.

Why is it that we are most silent when God is working the most in our lives? Interesting...

All of this to say, that I hope to be more active in sharing again. I have no idea what that will look like, but will say that I hope it looks like Him.

In Him,
Jim