Something To Say

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you have something to say... but you aren't quite sure what it is? Like there is a purpose bottled up inside of you that you aren't quite sure how to draw out?

I know... it is a strange question, but it is one that has been on my mind today for some reason.

I sat here this evening doing some work at my desk while listening through old songs that I have written, co-written, produced or played on. Lots of interesting stuff. In doing so, I noticed one recurring theme: I have trouble expressing myself through song. What I mean is that I have started many songs over the years (some of them I actually like), but very few have ever been finished.

My friend Dan and I used to co-write weekly. I was teaching guitar at the time and he worked with me at the music store. Between students, we could often be found working through some new song ideas. I won't say that they were all good, but we were very prolific.

Since Dan and I stopped writing together (this has more to do with stages of life and living in different cities than anything else), I haven't been anywhere near as thorough with my music.

I've had people tell me that I'm a gifted writer and performer, but truthfully I don't believe it. It makes it hard to finish songs when you are your worst critic.

Two of my friends who are accomplished professional songwriters have told me that part of the battle is just making sure you get the song out of you... be it good or bad. Seems if I think a song is bad, I'll just abandon it on the spot... hahaha

Anyhow, listening to the songs tonight made me realize how much I enjoy how music works. I enjoy the way that different sounds and instruments interact. I enjoy the act of getting the recorded.

What frustrates me is that I feel like there are things I'm supposed to say in music... not because I have to, but because God has created me a certain way. The problem is that I haven't figured out what it is I'm supposed to say... at least never more than a verse or two.

For fun, I'm going to post a few songs that I've worked on through the years. I'd love to know what you all think.

First up is a song that Dan and I wrote together (he wrote the words and I wrote the music). It was recorded at my old house in a little office (with the exception of drums, which we recorded one afternoon at the music store). Dan played the triangle, tambourine and did the vocals on the bridge. I did the vocals, guitars, bass and drums. The song is a good 10+ years old, so its fun to listen to.

10,000 Spins

The next one is the title track off of my band's CD (Just William: Blue Goodbye). This song is pretty much the same arrangement as the last one: I did the music and Dan did the words. I did the guitars and lead vocals. Evan Marshall did the background vocals and bass. Dan Van Oss did the keyboards and Skip Lowe played the drums. This too was recorded at my old house (and my parent's basement!)

Blue Goodbye

Ok... so those were my more prolific days co-writing with friends... now here are a few partially written songs from here at the house. All instruments and vocals (when there are some) are played and recorded by me. Be warned: None of them are complete and most of them don't have lyrics yet... hahaha. Also, not much effort was put into making these sound "professional"... they are just rough takes that I wanted to let you all listen to.

Song Idea 1

Song Idea 2

Song Idea 3

Well there you have it... a look into my incomplete, torturous mental state of songwriting. Some day (sooner than later) I hope to finish a few of these and put out a CD with some of these songs on them... but that's assuming I ever figure out what it is I'm trying to say!

Thanks for listening...

In Him,
Jim